Update

January 2015

I moved home and started taking a CNA course. The class was free and once I find a job it would pay above minimum wage. It kept me busy the whole month and having the certification is a good back up plan if I don't find a job that fits my degree.

Living at home again takes some getting used to but its nice to be near family. 

February 2015

I went to California to the One Project afterwards, Lindsey and I drove up to Yosemite and it was amazing. Yosemite is one of the most beautiful places that I have ever been, no joke we drove 8 hours to see this beautiful place for just a few hours I want to go back and hike half dome one day. Going out there and seeing all that beauty just makes you want to do stuff like that all the time. Real life... working at a boring job and having the life sucked out of you slowly is not how I want my existence to be. That is one of the things that trip affirmed for me. I want to have a life that doesn't scream conformity. I want a life that changes me and others for the better. I want to make a difference. I'm still searching for what that really means but I think someday I'll figure it out.

March 2015

Job searching that is all I have done. I have had one great interview for an internship in Grand Rapids I really want it but I'm trying to not get my hopes up. 

....

I have had a lot of free time over the last few months. Not all of it has been welcome.  

Anthology Assignment 1

I have always wanted to understand poetry. I have read a few poems here and there in high school and read a few poems on my own, but I have never sat down and tried to truly understand poetry. I was surfing the inter webs like I do after a long day and discovered this awesome site called Edx offering this free course taught by this Professor from MIT. So far I have really enjoyed this class the professor encourages that through out the course we save favorite poetry. I'll be saving mine here.

Michelangelo: To Giovanni da Pistoia When the Author Was Painting the Vault of the Sistine Chapel1509

I've already grown a goiter from this torture,

hunched up here like a cat in Lombardy(or anywhere else where the stagnant water's poison).My stomach's squashed under my chin, my beard'spointing at heaven, my brain's crushed in a casket,my breast twists like a harpy's. My brush,above me all the time, dribbles paintso my face makes a fine floor for droppings!My haunches are grinding into my guts,my poor ass strains to work as a counterweight,every gesture I make is blind and aimless.My skin hangs loose below me, my spine'sall knotted from folding over itself.I'm bent taut as a Syrian bow.Because I'm stuck like this, my thoughtsare crazy, perfidious tripe:anyone shoots badly through a crooked blowpipe.My painting is dead.Defend it for me, Giovanni, protect my honor.I am not in the right place—I am not a painter.(translated by Gail Mazur)

Like I said before I haven't read much poetry. However this is one of the first poems that the Professor showed and I really like it. The main reason is that its Michael freaking Angelo! And in this poem he sounds so amazingly real. I have never been to the Sistine Chapel to see his work in real life but of course I've seen and heard about it.
This Poem reminds me that even talented genius' like Michael Angelo struggled and became frustrated with there Art. It makes me laugh a little on the inside that while Michael Angelo was painting one of the most famous art pieces in history he had doubt.

I'm Half-Way to 50!

I'm 25.

Routine

I really want to post regularly on my blog but right now I can't think of much to say. I'm going to class and studying every single day. I've started the application process for several different graduate programs I'm interested in ...

I'm wanting to take a trip to Europe before I start graduate school next year, however I don't want to go by myself. Everyone I know these days are working or they are too busy with graduate school to even think about traveling. I guess I'm going to have to overcome my fear of traveling alone and just do it! Because I am going to Europe before this years end. I have put it off too long.

I don't want to look back on my twenties and regret not traveling outside of the country. I was looking through some old blog posts a few days ago and I remembered how I wanted to bike the Oregon coast, why haven't I done it yet? I don't want to become one of those types of people who lets boring old routine wear me down into one of those people who isn't interested in Adventure. Since I left school in 2012 I have been so blessed to experience so many different types of places. I don't want the Adventures I had over the last two years be the only exciting stories I have to tell when I'm old. 

I want to travel!

Seriously this could only happen to me.

Can I just rant for a second?

This semester I am trying to do well. I have been super organized , I have stopped watching tons of TV I am paying attention in all of my classes no matter how boring the teacher is, I take notes and I am studying all the time. Every single day for the last two or three weeks I'll wake up feeling like I can take on the world. No joke something always happens to put a wrench into my thoroughly planned out day. The only place I can park at the apartment I'm renting is under these trees that drop sap all over it. Apparently bee's like tree sap so I'll come back from classes and there will be like 10-15 bee's just all over my car swarming around. I look like a crazy person running around my car trying to shoo them away before I open my car... I'll do an assignment and then not turn it in the way the professor wants me to and after I question what was it that I did wrong I'll leave feeling like I'm an idiot... I'll work a ton over the weekend and then lose my keys at the end of my last shift (seriously how can I lose my keys after sitting in one place for like 3 hours)

Days like these make me feel like I'm going insane. Am I?

Edit
I found my keys. Someone turned them in this morning.

Update on my life

Being back in school has been really interesting. The people I once went to classes with and laughed and carried on with have long since moved on to jobs or graduate school.

I am feeling like God is taking me on this journey of renewal. Last year he gave me the opportunity to work at my old high school. Even though I was in a staff position I felt like I was going backward, it wasn't where I wanted to be. By the end of the school year I knew that even though it wasn't the place that I wanted to be it was where I needed to be. Because I was only a couple of hours drive from Chattanooga I was able to reconnect with my family. And over the summer  I spent three months getting to know my niece, nephew, sister, and mom again. I don't want to be dramatic and say that now we are closer then ever but distance and time away from home changes connections and it was really nice for me to get to be with family again, I didn't realize how much I missed being around them.

This summer my plan was to move to Orlando. That was my goal that was what I really wanted. As I began to see that this probably wasn't going to work because I couldn't find a job I became frustrated that my plan was not working out. Why do I constantly make plans without God? His way always turns out so much better. As I sit here typing this blog post out I am thinking of all the ways God has answered my prayers. Even little things that I have just thought it would be nice to have one day.

Here's an example of what he has done; for the last couple of years I have been really interested in this movement called the tiny house movement. I watched documentaries, read blogs, and many you tube videos on how people have downsized and it has made there lives so much better. Two weeks before I moved up here I still had no idea where I was going to live. I assumed it would be on campus sharing a tiny dorm room with 3 other girls. This was not appealing to me, I have been living in dorms for about ten years and I wanted something warm, inviting and that I could call my own. Get this! An old friend of mine was moving back to the area and she was renting out a tiny studio apartment a few miles away from campus. I called her and when I got to Berrien Springs I went to look at it. It was so tiny and perfect! Tall ceilings like I love, plenty of natural light. It was the perfect apartment for me. I know this may not sound like an important thing but to me it showed me that the choice I made to come back to Andrews for at least this semester was the right one. God did this for me with out me even really asking him to. Is that awesome or what?!

Now this last week of school was not a cake walk. I was frustrated with myself and some of my teachers, I felt overwhelmed by the school work, because the classes I'm taking this semester won't be easy and school isn't something I would say comes easily to me. With all that said, I am certain this is where I should be.

I'm back!

So I made it back to Berrien Springs. I drove my trusty old Toyota all day Monday. This past week I've been watching Jaela's dog while she and her family are on vacation and tomorrow I will move into my apartment. Yeah! I didn't think that I would be moving back up here to Andrews but these past few days have led me to believe that this was probably a good choice. I will be able to take the courses I need and apply to Graduate school. As of right now I am still planning to move to Florida if I get accepted into the grad program but that is a long way off... we will see where God leads me next.