What am I doing??????

Well I got that internship. After the excitement of actually getting this great opportunity wore off,  I started to think about all the things that I have to do and how scary it is to be moving to a new city where I don't know anyone.

I have only worked for Adventists this Internship is at a mainstream hospital. There have been a few times this week where I have thought what am I doing? Am I going to regret moving once again away from family and close friends? 

I don't think I will but the fear of the unknown is setting in. I hope that I like where I'm going to be living. I hope I learn a lot and that this experience whether good or bad will help shape me into a more confident adult. 

I don't feel like an Adult... 

Will I ever feel like I'm confident in my decisions. Will I ever feel grounded? I feel like at this point in my life that everything is constantly shifting. Sometimes it's exciting but most of the time its just terrifying. 

Update

January 2015

I moved home and started taking a CNA course. The class was free and once I find a job it would pay above minimum wage. It kept me busy the whole month and having the certification is a good back up plan if I don't find a job that fits my degree.

Living at home again takes some getting used to but its nice to be near family. 

February 2015

I went to California to the One Project afterwards, Lindsey and I drove up to Yosemite and it was amazing. Yosemite is one of the most beautiful places that I have ever been, no joke we drove 8 hours to see this beautiful place for just a few hours I want to go back and hike half dome one day. Going out there and seeing all that beauty just makes you want to do stuff like that all the time. Real life... working at a boring job and having the life sucked out of you slowly is not how I want my existence to be. That is one of the things that trip affirmed for me. I want to have a life that doesn't scream conformity. I want a life that changes me and others for the better. I want to make a difference. I'm still searching for what that really means but I think someday I'll figure it out.

March 2015

Job searching that is all I have done. I have had one great interview for an internship in Grand Rapids I really want it but I'm trying to not get my hopes up. 

....

I have had a lot of free time over the last few months. Not all of it has been welcome.